Grinding Gears

Things that grind my gears:

• Sub-par football players who think they are entitled to an NFL job, simply because they stage lame-brained protests. Also, people who think sub-par football players are entitled to an NFL job, simply because they stage lame-brained protests.
• People who think other people shouldn’t do their job because their name sounds like a guy who’s been dead for 147 years.
• People who think being somewhat conservative automatically makes you a Nazi. Also, people who think being somewhat liberal automatically makes you a communist.
• Customer service reps who seem to care about everything except the customer.
• People who cannot discuss their differences without hurling bricks at each other.
• People who think shooting police officers is good sport.
• Police officers who think everyone is ready to shoot them.
• Gas station attendants who don’t know how to pump gas.
• People who are absolutely certain the only character quality that matters is the pigmentation God gave them.
• Americans who insist they’re something other than an American. For instance, Asian-American, Hispanic-American, Irish-American, Italian-American, African-American, Polish-American, Arab-American, Hindu-American, German-American… Knock it off. You were born here, you’re an American. End Story.
• People who don’t think, but immediately launch into “tribe’ mentality. Nobody is perfect, not even the anointed leader of “your side.” Be real enough to fess up when they mess up.
• Store clerks who can’t do basic math. I mean, nobody ever taught you how to take 10% off a ticketed price? Seriously?
• Fast food employees who somehow think an entry-level job is worth $15 to anyone. Here’s a clue: if the only thing you’re qualified to do is ask “Do you want fries with that?”, you need to get yourself some edumaction. You. Not the government. YOU.
• Public Sector Unions. Heads up: working for the government is a privilege, not a Constitutional right. We – your fellow citizens – hired you because you’re supposed to be the best and the brightest. Prove it.
• The Veteran’s Administration.
• People who think nobody needs a gun, so nobody should own a gun. Hopefully, I’ll never need mine. But if you try to take mine away, you’ll be proving why I need them.
• Idiots who own guns, but leave them around for kids to blow their heads off. Hint: the mattress isn’t a lockbox.
• Cockroaches. Cockroaches annoy the HELL out of me.
• So do skunks.
• Finally, people who treat everything as if it’s a life and death matter. It isn’t, trust me. Learn to laugh a little, even at yourself.

  Trust me, you’re funnier than you know.